For a moment, I want you to really think about all the relationships (past or present) that you (myself included) have put all this time and energy into. The relationships that are purposeless and have no real VALUE, yet we pour into them as if our very life depends on it. Have you ever heard of the word...INSANITY? It can be defined as extreme foolishness, irrationality; but the most simple way to put it is: INSANITY IS DOING THE EXACT SAME THING OVER & OVER...EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS. Insanity is most evident in...RELATIONSHIPS. Many of us run back to our past, what was comfortable & familiar, and we deal with the same things over and over and over...yet nothing changes. The relationship where he comes home late almost every night, you don't trust him at all & he doesn't trust you, where he sleeps around on you every now & then, you two break up & make up, he abuses alcohol, uses drugs, abuses you, uses you, manipulates you, steals from you...You might say, "We are going to work this out, we love each other, we belong together, I can't picture myself with anyone else." Pssh. Literally! It has become almost normal. How can a man truly, unconditionally love you...if He has NO [REAL] relationship with Jesus Christ. He may "go to church" but he has not been changed & his heart remains untouched (You can check out So..He Goes to Church?) You have to consider whether you're in a relationship, or in bondage. You keep taking a "break" after break, trying to force something that maybe GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU IN.
So things finally ended between you two...
I just want to encourage you, you are beautiful & precious in Jesus's sight! God has a purpose for YOUR life. I know you feel like you can't understand why things didn't work out with this person, or maybe why they left you, or why you feel like you kept getting hurt from the relationship over and over. May I stop you right here?-You have to take some responsibility. Did you let this happen? You already knew that there was no change in the person, from the first time around, or maybe after a significant event or argument. I believe as women, emotional beings, we praise the man for what he does right, and ignore the mega sized red flags. God has a purpose and a plan for your life. And its a hard, yet beautiful thing when you can finally let go of the things that were hindering you, holding you back. [And make no mistake, you could be a hindrance to him too, but your partner isn't reading this blog, you are] He is not going where God is trying to take you, he cannot come along for this ride. Picture the journey as a one-seat-only. But you've been trying to squeeze the two of you in this one seat...& its caused nothing but hurt and heartache. You have to realize that God, His will, His timing; is perfect, and if this person is suppose to be in your life, you need to trust God and let Him work it out but...it will be His timing! ....Did you got excited thinking, "Yayyy, there's still hope! smiley face!" [I've been there]
For right now, you may not be hearing from God. You're not audibly hearing God say, "No! Don't be with that person." While he's not "saying that" (or maybe He has) he's given you clear signs, and you have tuned him out, because you don't want to hear it, believe it, or accept it. He's not living for God, his prayer life doesn't exist, he has no fruit of the Spirit, he doesn't love you like Christ loved the church, he can't lead you, & most importantly, he doesn't have a true relationship with God. SO WHY ARE YOU STILL ENTERTAINING THE RELATIONSHIP? So many times we wait for God to make it clear, make it plain that we are not suppose to be in certain relationships but- how much clearer does he have to make it?! He gave us the bible, His word-that is clearly laid out. God also gave us mentors, blogs, ministers, preachers, conferences, books, vlogs, podcasts, YouTube videos..YOU CANNOT SAY YOU DID NOT KNOW BECAUSE THE INFORMATION WAS THERE- but you were blissfully ignorant toward the information.
What you have to do (And Jesus Can & Will Help You!) is LET GO, TRUST GOD, & MOVE ON. First of all, why are you even trying to pursue a relationship when you, yourself, are not where you're suppose to be in your walk with God? You never are going to be perfect, we understand that. But how long will you remain a babe in Christ? You've been trying to pass the same test(s) for the last 5 years! You still have an emotional meltdown at the drop of a pin. You're stagnant! You're not moving. At some point you need to come to the realization that you've been doing the same thing over and over and over...expecting different results. Insane Relationships! [And the same could be true with your relationship with God, you only giving Him a little of you, but you're expecting Him to do great works for you.] Why do you expect something to be different, in any relationship, when you have the same sinful you, the same sinful him, and you've put you two together, it's not going to work God's way, so you have to stop what you think you can do in your own ability. You need God. Get in your word, listen, look for the signs. Join a couple ministries at your church, start writing that book God placed in your heart! Seek God's kingdom FIRST.
You only have one life. Relationships are for a purpose, for marriage. Two people come together to accomplish a purpose, together. You can't just marry anybody. [I once heard ( ''A man who is not doing anything doesn't need help."] Powerful, right? If a man is not accomplishing God's will for his life, then he's not walking in his purpose. So why does he need a woman? You could very well serve only as a temporary fill, for temporary feelings, & he has not been commanded by our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ to take you down the aisle, I'm sorry. Don't waste time by dating like the world, don't be engulfed in feelings.
Now let's first be perfectly clear here: All this is not going to make sense to you if you do not have a foundation of Christ. If Christ is not the center of your life, if He is not living in your heart, if you have not accepted Him as Lord & Savior over your life- then you're not living this thing out. If you've got one foot in the world and one foot in Christ- THIS WILL NOT MAKE SENSE TO YOU. YOU WON'T GET IT.
And I get it-"God why we gotta stop having sex? Why I gotta do this or that! " It may be a hard area to overcome, but God can help you & there's nothing you can't do with Him. My carnal mind couldn't grasp the things of God. It couldn't understand. I thought people were crazy. Like what do you mean, not have sex, not sleep over his house, not move in together, Like we love each other! We gone be together! No! No! No! I'm sowing a seed on a dead foundation if you haven't come to the revelation that you have to be Holy as God is Holy. I'm talking to the wall if you can't understand that God's ways are the only ways that matter. I'm preaching to no one if you don't understand that God is your everything. He's your provider, He's holds your life in the palm of His hand. And if you would just stop thinking about this world and stop trying to accumulate earthly things, and stop trying to be somebody that God did not call you to be. God has a destination for you, eternity with Him, you must accept the call.
You may wonder why you have these voids in your heart. Or that boyfriend, or ex, of yours, why he can't stop doing what he's doing. Why he won't just settle down. It's because we have these voids in our hearts. And we try to soothe them with worldly things, things that are not of Christ. Only God can fill those voids. The beautiful thing is that when you are TRULY focused on Christ, you don't have the time, energy, or mental capacity to even be concerned about anyone else, even an ex.
God has to come in and take everything in you that's not like Him and break it. It is not going to feel good! It would be like someone coming into your home, throwing out all your furniture, and you just gotta take it! Walls are being torn down, and carpets uprooted- And you just have to endure the process, no matter how long it takes, because its YOUR home. It is the same thing with God. He comes to move in our hearts and He wants to take everything in us that's unlike Him and replace it with His heart, ways, and will. There are going to be days when you want to quit, give up, have suicidal thoughts; where you just don't feel good but you just have to trust that if you're being led by the Spirit and you've allowed Him to come live inside of you, then know that His plans are to prosper you. That He will not give up on you, and you don't give up on him. Refuse to listen to the enemy's lies that you can't do this!! Stop expecting it to feel good. The devil is going to come at you with everything he has because he wants to stop you! You have to walk this thing out. You have to be strong, you have to endure, and you have to put on the armor of Christ.
There are angels above watching you! They're like, "yooo what are you doing?" You getting knocked over because you lost your job, crying because you lost your money, your car died on you-NO! Do you know what Jesus went through? None of us suffered as He has! That is the revelation that you need to get. It's time for us to stop with these insane relationships. This could be a relationship with your boyfriend, your car, your job, your career, school-anything that you put above God has to go, it has to be reevaluated. Many of us are not excited about that. I wouldn't be excited if someone came to uproot me out of my home, it's not going to feel good, and if it did, why wouldn't everyone have already done it? Consider. Narrow is the way.
I don't know your story, but I know it's not too late, why you are yet still breathing. Decide in this very moment that you won't be like the dog running back to its vomit. And don't let the enemy or persons from your past remind you of what & how you use to be. You cut those ties immediately and seek God's heart, approval, and guidance. Even if you were set free last night, last month, and hour ago-whatever! It is time you deny your self (flesh), pick up your cross, keep moving forward, and follow Him.