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So...He Goes To Church?

You know how we can be sometimes ladies. "Oh! Girl I got me a good one! He has a good job, he's educated, focused, AND he goes to church EVERY Sunday!

The sad thing is-Sinners go to church too. I'm talking about people, who claim to love God, who go to church, and continue to sin knowingly. Worship has become routine and on Sundays, they go to church. It's. Just. What. They. Do.

Prior to me truly surrendering to God, I had always preferred a man that went to church on Sundays. Yeah he could still sleep with me before marriage, but as long as he went to church on Sundays...I considered him a good guy. Because having sex wasn't a terrible thing, right? Because if I'm pleasing him, he won't go looking else where, right? Because he's the one who basically forced me to go to church, so he's going to eventually want to do things the right way, right? Because if he's attending church, praise & worshiping, he's got to know a thing or two about how to treat a lady, right? WRONG.

Man...he loves the darkness. He loves his sin. His lifestyle. His women. His drinking. His clubbing. His deceitful ways. His worldly attitude. His lying. His greed. His anger. His money. His own thinking.

"19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed." John 3:19-20

Ladies, just because he goes to church does not mean a thing if his HEART has not been changed. I once heard if you take a lion, you can train his actions to be different. For the lion to act like this, do this, or eat this-but none of these things change the nature of the lion.

The nature of man is not born into this world with a heart totally in love with Jesus. We were not born saved. We were born with a desire for sin. If a man is truly sold out for Christ, then you should be able to see some good fruit on his tree. Pay attention to how he handles situations. Is his first instinct to pray? Does he repent daily? Is he loving you as Christ loved the church?

We've got to look beneath the surface of not just men we aspire to court with-but people in general. Just as our Father in heaven does.

"'But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve." Jeremiah 17:10

This is what I love about our living God. Men judge based on the outward appearance but God looks at the intent of our hearts. Is his heart pure? Is your heart pure? He can get all dressed up, go to church, worship, and then leave the church still unchanged, unmoved, and still with the wicked heart he was born with. If you are sitting in church, listening to a word preached, and you are not convicted- that is a problem.

Now a days, we get so caught up in the emotional aroma of service. We'll cry (I mean shed some serious tears) and then it's like soon after the "edge cools off." We are no longer thinking about what the preacher, preached. Nope we are focused back on the things of this world. The bible is clear, we are to set our minds not on the things of this world (Colossians 3:2). All the things of this world are temporary and hold no value in heaven.

The very same individual who will tell you, "You need to go to church," is the very same individual who has not truly received Christ as their Lord and Savior. And this may very well be the man who invited you to church. He's into the routine. On Sundays, he goes to church. But do you see any of the fruit of the spirit in his life? Any peace, joy, self-control, patience, love, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, forbearance???

Has he made his intentions with you known? You don't have to question where the "relationship" is because godly men court for one purpose...marriage. We know this. Are there boundaries set up? As women, I hope we grasp the concept that "a man without God is incapable of loving". I am not referring to he's going to church on Sundays...but does he devote his life to God? Does he fear God?

Before he makes ANY move, is he checking with the Lord & Savior of his life?
These are questions you should be asking yourself. Line him up with the bible. If a man proclaims to love God recognize this:

  • There are certain things he will not do.
  • There are certain things he will not say.
  • There are certain places he will not go.
  • He will honor God in all that he does. And he's bold for Christ.
  • He will pray daily & spend time with God.
  • He will exhibit good fruit on his tree.

It may seem like in today's world, there are not many men who want to live for Christ wholeheartedly. However, God knows what is best for each and every single one of His creations. He has someone for you. And Ladies you don't have to do a thing. No convincing, ultimatums, or threats. If he's not "ready"...that is your cue to exit left & do not look back. I once dated a man (who introduced me to "going back" to church) who actually said that no one is doing things "God's way." That I needed to follow his lead. The reality was he was leading the both of us straight to an eternity in hell. And even more sadly, I was letting him. I loved my darkness and all the sin it housed. More importantly, when the word of God truly took root in my heart, I realized that I needed the light in my life and that light was Christ. My point is-- You won't know these things unless you get into the word!!! A man has to have God-given vision and lead a woman closer to Christ. Whatever the bible says about something, is what you should say about something. Christian World View. There are no detours. You die to YOUR old way of thinking and you put on the mind of Christ.

The devil does not care if you go to church. That is the last thing on his mind. He doesn't want you to change. He wants to deceive you. He loves for you to go to church, leave, and then go operate as the world does. After church, he wants you to cuss someone out. He wants you to get in bed with your boyfriend. He wants you to be depressed about your circumstances. This is a spiritual war- you must fight back.

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6:12

He may go to church...EVERY Sunday, but what does his heart look like? What kind of fruit is he producing on his tree? If it is lies, the bible states the devil is the father of lies and there is no truth in him (John 8:44). If it is the love of money, the bible states money is the root of all evil (I Timothy 6:10). Just to name a couple.

The bible has the answer; To everything. You should be led by the Holy Spirit in everything & especially in relationships. If you know God is placing it heavy on your heart to leave that situation alone-OBEY Him. God wants your whole heart and He is jealous for the territory that you reserve for these men that can never provide for you as Christ can.

You Will Never Be Sorry For OBEYING, TRUSTING, & WAITING On The LORD. 


Resurrection Day! I am so thankful for the sacrifice Jesus made for our sins! Because of Him
we have the chance to be made new in CHRIST & live a life pleasing to God & spend eternity in Heaven!


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