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What Kind of Woman Are You?

You might be thinking, "Why are you asking this question! Of course I'm a good woman!"

I thought the same thing too. "I'm a good woman." I am loyal, honest, caring, loving, motivational, ambitious, intelligent, independent, and so on. It wasn't until I really began to dig into the word of God that I really had to sit back and say, "What kind of woman are you?"

All those "things" I named are nice, and in the eyes of a worldly man, I'd probably be considered a "good catch." NOT what I am looking to attract.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

See, there are PLENTY women in this world. I'm sure we could come up with different types of women to categorize. I mean everything from "insecure," "know-it-all," "desperate," "home wrecker," etc. You get the point-this list could go on for days, weeks, months even.

BUT, What about the kind of woman the bible describes? THAT'S THE ONLY KIND OF WOMAN I ASPIRE TO BE.

"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies." Proverbs 31:10
This scripture, and the entire chapter, speaks volumes to me. Here I was thinking I was "all that and a bag of chips" but I had no virtue. No holy standards. No boundaries. No godly wisdom. No fear of God. I didn't understand that if I'm in a relationship-it's only end goal should be marriage. I didn't understand that if I'm a little bit stronger in my faith than the man I am dating, it's probably a good idea to break things off than try to lead and help him.

Women were not created to lead. Men were. And the bible is clear to not be unequally yoked with nonbelievers (II Corinthians 6:14). But you know ladies, we don't care about all this stuff, you're in love! You want what you want, how you want it. I sure did. But I believe that once I had knowledge of Christ, my Savior, where it felt like a bright, piercing light burst into a room I didn't know was so dark-I just couldn't continue on like I had been. I mean I tried to of course, but you should know when God is telling you to let someone go-OBEY Him. He knows what's best for you. (And if you aren't sure if you should be with him, read this blog here.)

God created a woman to be a help meet.

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him." Genesis 2:18
Help meet: a helpful companion or partner, especially one's husband or wife.

Notice the definition is almost exclusively relative to a husband or a wife-the way God intended it to be. WOMAN! You are a help meet; To your one day spouse. Not a side chick/hot fling/summer romance/option/rebound/just his baby mama/ and so on.

"11Her husband  can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 14She is like a merchant's ship, bringing her food from afar.  15She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day's work for her servant girls. 16She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earning she plants a vineyard. 17She is energetic and strong, a hard worker, 18She makes sure her dealing are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. 19Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. 20She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. 21She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. 25She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 26When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. 27She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. 28Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 29"There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!"

When you really grasp this revelation, you'll see; You can't just go around dating any ol' boy or even engaged to the average Joe. Even if he's your first love, high school sweetheart, soul-mate (which really there is no such thing) baby daddy, or long-time partner-honey none of that matters if he doesn't have a personal relationship with Christ. You want a man with vision, a leader, a man who fears the Lord. I talk a lot about the kind of man to court with but-Women play a part as well.

{I skipped a few verses, however, I would encourage you in your quiet time to truly meditate on these scriptures.}

"A Proverbs 31 Woman," is a woman to be praised. When I first read about "her," I was like completely blown away. What a woman! She isn't constantly tearing her man down. She isn't sitting up laying around the house all day accomplishing nothing. She isn't timid and unsure of the future. She isn't fornicating/an adulteress. She isn't cussing people out left and right. She isn't mean & nasty, getting drunk, or at the club every now & then (or at all for this matter). No! She's gentle, loving, and wise. She's not focused on the things of this world that are only temporary. She's resourceful, keeps her house in order, and so much more! SHE LOVES & FEARS GOD WITH EVERYTHING IN HER.

This is a woman we should all aspire to be, as women who have a heart after God; believers. Not the Rihannas or Beyonce's.

God & God alone, can truly change a person. And not just how the world perceives the individual-I mean a true heart change. He will take everything out of you that's wicked and not Christ like & make you whole and secure in Christ. You won't want to be the woman you used to be. The woman who looked for her worth in men. The woman who never really thought she was super attractive. The woman who constantly pondered, "Lord when will you send me my husband?" The woman who tried to earn love from a man. The woman who didn't know her worth because her boyfriend didn't treat her accordingly. The woman who kept man after man, relationship after relationship, because she didn't want to face being alone.

You are never alone in Christ. Your worth & value is found in Christ. Let God into your heart & SURRENDER EVERY FACET OF YOUR LIFE over to Him. It's a beautiful thing, pursuing a true relationship with God. Often times as women, this is the relationship in our life that needs the most work & gets the least attention.

This walk with God, don't be fooled-it ain't always pretty. It will cost you some things; There will be times you want to give up-but let God build you up! Let patience have her perfect work in you! Seek God...keep pushing forward...and don't look back-NEVER look back.
My prayer: Lord help me to be the woman you called me to be. One who is whole & secure in you-wanting nothing.



  1. Thanks for sharing this piece- it brings hope and transformation


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