June 13, 2016

"Dear God, I Want My Stuff!"

Have you ever found yourself saying or thinking......:"I want mines, God!" "I want my stuff!" 
It's give me this, give me that, bless me financially, bless me with this job, this new car- and all of that other foolishness. God is not interested in just handing you over everything you pray for. He's not some giver of everything you think you want & need. It gets tough because all you may hear in Sunday service is the preacher preaching more about your "breakthrough" coming, getting back all you lost & living comfortably...rather than truly changing your heart & loving God with everything in you, even when your circumstances shouldn't permit you to. When you give your life to Christ, it's not suppose to be a road filled with only roses & sunshine.
And that's a huge misconception among those who come to Christ. They're programmed to believe that as soon as they give their life to Christ: they are just going to get every thing their little wicked heart desires, no matter how they live Monday through Saturday.

Let's look at these scriptures:

"For the scriptures say, 'You must be holy because I am holy.'' I Peter 1:16 NLT

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing." James 1:2-4 NLT

"23Then he said to the crowd, 'If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. 24If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. 25And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?'" Luke 9:23-25 NLT

As believers, who hunger after God, we should always pray: "Dear God, break me, strip me from anything I place above you, teach me your ways, humble me, let me be a light to others, help me to obey you and turn from the sin and bondage that comes to entangle me, help me to be content, help me to forgive, help me to endure, help me to love you unconditionally..." Really think about that prayer...it is such a beautiful one because you're saying to God that you are going to let go of your life and seek Him, and let Him be your guide. If you really want God to build you up on His foundation, you might find that you might have to let go of your boyfriend, friends that don't encourage your walk with God, your job, YOUR dreams, YOUR ambitions, and so on. You have to want God's plan for your life...above your own. And it is not going to be easy, but I believe it's so worth it. Stop thinking about "me me me." God will give you the desires of your heart as you walk with Him because you'll notice that the big fancy car you wanted to drive, you don't desire anymore, or all the hottest clothes you wanted to buy to hit the town, you don't want anymore. You will no longer have that void that you would try to fill with temporary, worldly things. You'll start to want what God wants for you. It's a daily renewing of your mind.

Many of us don't want to be exposed before God. We don't want Him to know that deep down, we really don't trust Him to provide, to bring His best into our life, to give us the abundant life experience. We don't want to sit at His table, but just be close enough where we can get what we want, and leave, and then come back, over and over again as we please. But what happens when the door is closed...for good? You'll wish that you could get get back all those times you had the opportunity to dine with the Father, get to know Him, His ways-- Yet you were a stranger in His house, only coming by to get what you needed.

Going after God will cost you your life. You'll have to be disciplined, committed, faithful, Holy, and so much more. However, you don't have to face this journey alone, the Holy Spirit is with you, and so is God's word.

"10For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. 11No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening-it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." Hebrews 12: 10-11 NLT

Meditate on His word. Truly learn to think of it as your daily bread (Matthew 4:4). I enjoy God disciplining me, because there are things in my flesh that need to come under the word of God. It's a daily decision. If you know it will all work out for YOUR GOOD, why stress and fight the process?

So I know you want your stuff. But do you want it more than God? Are you looking for the money, spouse, car, or job to make you happy? God knows your heart, He knows those inner thoughts. Be honest with God. I was, I told God some years back in my prayer time, that I wanted to stay in a relationship that didn't glorify Him, as long as I could, and that when I ended up getting hurt [which I knew would come], that I would come back to Him for my healing. Silly, right? I remember that day so vividly, because I started crying as I said that. And I hated it, I asked God to help me not to worship a relationship more than Him, or the tangible things I could have... And you have to do the same. You have to want to & truly love God more than ANYTHING. You may jump up at the opportunity to hang with your boyfriend, or friends, but you're lazy when it comes to reading your bible, praying, and going to church. You have this nonchalant attitude when it comes to actually being a doer of the word and not a hearer only (James 1:22).

Before we get so focused on getting our stuff, let's focus on having an intimate, personal relationship with God. If I'm not praying or reading my bible like I should, I'm instantly convicted...and I start to miss God. Have you ever missed God? Or dying to leave work so you can spend time with Him? If you have God, you really don't need anything else. So you might be going through a desert season, where the things you held so dear are being stripped from you...good. I depend on God. Not money, not my job, only God.

Maybe you're believing God to come into your life, but you won't shed the weight of sin that weighs you down. Or waiting to start your ministry, but you still avoid the tests in the areas you need to be developed in.

Think about the day, the day you will stand before God, and give an account of everything and every word. You wouldn't want to stand before God and have Him say: "What did you do with the time I gave you on earth, my daughter?" 

"Well God, I know I spent about 10 years going back and fourth with a bad relationship that I knew you told me to let go of, I worshiped my cars and houses, I spent my life doing what I wanted to do because you didn't give me what I wanted, I didn't seek to truly share CHRIST with others, But I was at church almost every Sunday, and bible study..I chased the idea of this job, because it gave me the most money, I wanted fame and popularity, and I wanted the world to LOVE ME!" 

And God says: "But I will reply, 'I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God's laws'." Matthew 7:23 NLT

Really let that sink in. It completely wrecks me. It's my prayer that you let go of the desire to have these temporary things, more than you desire God. Pray that you are longsuffering and you know who holds your life. Let God have your whole life, trust Him for guidance. Nothing on this earth is worth your soul. Don't ignore God's promptings. Get those feelings and emotions under the subjection of Christ. Turn from sin, don't just repent, and then keep sinning. God's power is real, and can break any habit/addiction/bondage. Make a true heart change. Do it by faith, and never stop believing God. Instead of praying for your stuff, pray: "Dear God, I want YOU." And be ready to receive all that comes with it.


April 19, 2016

A Forgiving Heart

What hurt are you holding onto? Is it hurt from a relationship? Spouse? Friendship? Parent? Sibling? Did you know that it is completely possible to let go of the hurt and genuinely love [God's Love] the person that hurt you. How? Through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Let me ask you this: Do you really love God? Like truly, truly love Him? You do? Well you must know then that... Forgiveness is what God commands of us. I know it may seem impossible, but you have to take the carnal eyes off, and let God show you. Especially in the area of relationships ! Maybe your ex really hurt you, & I'll never understand exactly what you went through, however, it still does not change God's command & expectation of us. Even if your best friend did you wrong, forgive, let it go, and love them as your brother/sister in Christ.
For me, I didn't want to go to hell because I knowingly chose [REFUSED] to not forgive a person that hurt me. I thought, How can I walk around claiming to love God but when I see so & so, I start bad-mouthing them in my head & at times to others.  It just didn't make sense in my spiritual eyes. I felt such conviction that I tried my very best to just ignore. But---I felt like a phony & I pondered what God thought of my behavior. And most importantly, I noticed that as I held tightly onto my unforgiving heart, it bridged a gap between me & God. And that was whether I liked it or not. Anger, bitterness, rage, refusal to forgive- all that weighs down your spirit man. So as I was intentional about spending time with God more, these scriptures would just ring ALL DAY in my spirit:

"34So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." John 13:34-35 NLT

"46If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47If you are kind to only your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect." Matthew 5:46-48

"7For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God's laws, and it never will. 8That's why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God." Romans 8:7-8 NLT

"If you love me, obey my commandments." John 14:15 NLT

"But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:15 NLT

I would meditate on these scriptures, just stare at them, say them aloud. I can recall a time at church where we were reading the scripture the sermon was to reference, & it was out of the book of Matthew, and the Lord told me to look down, keep reading ...and that's when I came across Matthew 6:15. If you can picture a toy being taken away from a baby, that is how I began to cry saying in my heart "Noooo God, I don't want to. I can't." Even that was over a year before I finally had to settle it in my heart. You can say, "I forgive you," all day long. Forgiveness is a HEART MATTER. So if you're still holding onto all of the hurt- you have to let it go. You don't have to do it on your own & actually, you can't!

I find myself always praying the "break me, Lord," prayer. The, show me where I'm wrong-Take anything that's unlike you out of me-What am I holding onto that's hindering me from you Lord..prayer. Many reference this as a dangerous prayer to pray, because God will actually do it. However, it is just what David did:
"23Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalms 139:23-24 NLT

God will begin to deal with you about certain areas of your life, as you cry that out to Him, and you truly mean it. It's like I would come to Him saying "God!!! I want more of you, I'm ready, take me, shake me, mold me!!! I'm ready to walk this thang out!" & In my spirit I would just hear Him respond "Not quite my daughter. You're still holding onto unforgiveness, you want to keep that hurt and go higher in me, but you can't." Say whaaat, Lord?! My flesh didn't want to. It was in my flesh that I wanted to hold on to the "But he hurt me!" A relationship of course. However, I had (and have) such a hunger, that I had no choice. I started to pray for the individual [like on my knees going hard in prayer for the person!]. I started to ask God to help me. I was honest, determined, & transparent with God. I told Him why I didn't want to. I read stories in the bible about forgiveness. I learned of people whose situations were much more dire than my own. && Well...GOD MET ME AT MY NEED. He truly did. I had an encounter, a long moment at the altar, time in prayer, that forever changed my unforgiving heart, to a forgiving heart. And I'm so happy about it!!! God truly hears our prayers.

I used to like to believe that I could tell anyone who's hurt me, to never speak to me, don't look my way-but it is so ungodly. I'm not saying be best friend's with the person, or "fall back in," but forgive, give it to God, love the person, and move forward. You can do it through the power of Christ. If He lives within you. Now, I want people [who may know my story] to say, "How in the world are you evening saying hello to that person, they've done you so wrong??" And I want to look them in the eye, with a genuine, pure heart & say, "The love of God flows through me. I'm commanded to love those who've hurt me, forgive, just as God forgives me, and keep obeying God." And the funny thing is, I was actually tested with that statement. Ha! I just love God.

I had the revelation that I don't have to walk around with the pain, bitterness, or heartache. As you seek God more & more, He enables you to do things that might seem crazy/impossible to a natural mind. We are told to cast our care onto God because He cares for us (I Peter 5:7)! I don't know about you, but it feels good to do what God does so mercifully,- FORGIVE. The enemy would love for you to walk around with the pain from your past, but you can't do it. Show him the GOD you serve!!!

I thought I would never forgive my biological father. He's been absent for most of my life, just couldn't get things together. He missed many birthdays, many big events. I refused to communicate with him, and did not want to take his calls. For years, I wrote him off. I went about my life. Little did I know, he had been praying that I forgive &love him, and my sister was too. I finally agreed to go visit him [something in me just said "sure, fine."], and it had been 13 years, since I last seen him, and I had only been saved about the last 3 of those 13 years. I wasn't expecting what happened to have happened, God had other plans. I cried for a very long time. It is just a testament of the power of prayer & God's working on our hearts. Only He can take a girl who was so angry, hurt, & bitter with her father, & totally reverse the situation. We now have a growing relationship, & I love, and have forgiven him..of everything..the end. Please know it didn't happen in two seconds. It is a process that you do not want to hinder. 

We will never arrive in God. He will be pruning us until the day we are called to be with Him. Nonetheless, it is truly beautiful to know that each and every day of your life, a piece of your old self is burned off, and you intentionally pursue God, and become Christ-minded. Following God WILL SEPARATE YOU FROM PEOPLE & that's okay. Whoever hurt you, no matter WHAT occurred-please forgive them, for your sake & soul. It is not worth holding on to. You can truly move on with God, even if you don't understand how He'll work it all out, I think we are not supposed to. Just trust Him. All I do, is purposely delight myself in the Lord. I focus on what will please God. That is a life worth living. I'm no longer affected by trivial matters. Pray for wisdom & discernment in the area of relationships. Love. Be a light reflective of Christ. Obey God. Have Faith. Seek His guidance in all that you do. Have a forgiving heart, that's not easily offended. 

"This is what the LORD says: Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the LORD. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, in an uninhabited salty land. But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit. The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve." Jeremiah 17: 5-10 NLT


March 21, 2016

Why I'll Never Date Another Man...

I haven't always done it God's way. And if I can be honest, I haven't always been too particularly fond of doing it God's way. This isn't to condemn you, [and I pray that if you're reading this, its your true desire to want to do it God's way] but to open your eyes to this very true, very real revelation: God's way is best, worth it, and the only way...
You may ask..."how do you know Gina, you're single!" Have I courted with a godly man? To answer your question no, I haven't. However, in spending time with God & His word, He has showed me some things concerning the area of dating/relationships. And I have had my fair share of dating as the world does. Now I have knowledge of a better way than what I was doing before.
When I look back at all my past relationships, I now understand, why I felt hurt & got my heart broken from many of them. It wasn't solely because I was crazy, insecure, overly-emotional, and a mess. It wasn't because the man lacked commitment issues or too young. We weren't whole in Christ! And while all those things may have had a small part to play, the main, significant reason all those relationships failed was because each one lacked a true reverence and love of God. Yes, it can all be attributed to this one statement: We didn't love God, We didn't know God, & We didn't fear God. If I had truly known God, through Him I would've realized my true worth & value a lot sooner. I would have understood that I was not created to be taken for a test drive. I would have understood that if you're not a man after God's heart...then we hold no purpose together. I would have understood that its more of a heart matter and actions, rather than words. The world will try to tell you it was because you two had communication issues, & that can be true BUT if you are joined together by God, you will not quit. God will be constantly developing you two in the relationship and speaking to you concerning the person. If you know that he or she is the one, you will commit to the process. You will grow and the love of God will flow through each of you.
Let's look at what the apostle Peter wrote concerning God's way over the world's:

"17These people are as useless as dried-up springs or as mist blown away by the wind. They are doomed to blackest darkness. 18They brag about themselves with empty, foolish boasting. With an appeal to twisted sexual desires, they lure back into sin those who have barely escaped from a lifestyle of deception. 19They promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves of sin and corruption. For you are a slave to whatever controls you. 20And when people escape from the wickedness of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and then get tangled up and enslaved by sin again, they are worse off than before. 21It would be better if they had never known the way to righteousness than to know it and then reject the command they were given to live a holy life. 22They prove the truth of this proverb: "A dog returns to its vomit." And another says, "A washed pig returns to the mud." II Peter 2:17-22 NLT

Wow. I don't know about you, Peter's letter just wrecks me [I would encourage you to have a study on the whole chapter!] This was Peter's second letter, & it is quite unclear to me specifically who the readers were, however based on II Peter 1:1, Peter wrote this second letter to encourage the people living in a certain area to be authentic Christians. To warn them about false teachers and what it meant to actually practice God's desires for His people. And what I love about Peter is that his account comes directly from his walk with Jesus Christ while He walked on this earth.  In verses 17-19, Peter was talking about the danger and threat of false teachers. In II Peter 2:12, Peter calls them unthinking animals, creatures of instinct, born to be caught and destroyed...
False teachers can be much like the world today. People who routinely go to church Sunday, claim to love God, but have, nor truly want, a real, intimate relationship with Him. They'll encourage you to go on dates with other men-just to get your mind off your ex, seek to indulge with you in the world's temporary sinful pleasures; they want to lure you back into sin. You have to know God and know what His word says and remember this: God's word will ALWAYS be CONTRARY to the ways & ideology of the world. 
The two will never mix and God's word is supreme. Your friends should always push you closer to Christ and respond to your request for advice/wisdom with the word of God.

When an ex of mine and I broke up for the very first time(a meaningless attempt I would soon find out), I was told by a fellow lady in my church that I needed to dig into the things of God, and let Him make me whole. Sayyyy what?! At the time (years ago), I didn't really understand what that meant. I would ponder and think "How can I seek God when all I want to do is mope around, look at old pictures, cry, and listen to sad love songs?". I was attending Michigan State University at the time, so I couldn't attend my pity party ALL day, I had to actually leave my apartment, go to class, and study. So because it seemed like I had no one else to turn to [running back to another ex, or finding some random guy was not an option to me] I turned to God. Every morning, (because I would catch the CATA bus to campus) I would have worship music playing walking to the bus, on the bus, and walking to class. When I came home from class, I would pour my heart out to God, and cry out to Him. I did that pretty much every day, and each day got easier. These sweet scriptures became my fortress:
 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." John 14:18 KJV
 "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalms 34:18 NLT
 "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 ESV
 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 NIV

I would mediate and stare at these scriptures on index cards for long periods of time. This was before I knew about any convicting preachers, blogs, vlogs, etc. It was just me and God. Well, about 4 months later-we were officially back together. "What! Why?" I'm not really sure. He had broken up with me("to figure out things"), but we still kept in constant communication. He was still in the picture. And when he was ready to commit again, I accepted. Oh, and that whole "God thing" went out the window...I had my boo back!! I had a lot of sin in my life, with just a sprinkle of God. Things seemed to be going good though, but now I actually started listening in church. I started to notice the counterfeited presentation of love being given by myself and him. See that short, intimate, alone time I spent with God planted a very real seed in my heart. That seed was watered and grew overtime. I recall one night, (randomly) I just didn't want to give into my desire to please my flesh. We actually got into an argument because I couldn't just make a decision to honor God with my body without consulting my boyfriend. A couple months after that, some things just didn't sit well in my spiritual eyes, words were exchanged, and the relationship was over...again. Now, I wasn't perfect either, one minute I wanted God's way and the next I was ruled by flesh & it was an ongoing, literally, WAR in my mind (Romans 7:23). I now understand Jesus was tugging on my heart to come out of the darkness. I went back to my routine, what worked. I popped out my bible, my index cards, and prayed to God to forgive me and to help me to not go back. 

I went back, but because I wanted to. Through it all, it wasn't officially a "relationship" with the person, but I remained entangled in the bondage for quite some time. Struggling to live for God and deny my flesh. God will help you, but you have to want it bad enough. You can't pray the soul tie be broken, and still willingly check the person's social media pages. && As Peter mentioned, I was certainly worse off than before, and it would have been better for me to not have known the way, than to have known it and rejected it (II Peter 2:20-21). Sin has consequences, the bible is clear that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). We do understand that if you confess your sins, repent, and turn away, God is merciful and just to forgive you (I John 1:19).

So while me and all of my past relationships had our share of problems, I wonder how many of them could have been avoided, if I was truly living for Jesus? How many soul ties would have never been formed? You have to understand that once you're exposed to the light, you can't continue in darkness. I tried to, God kept telling me "No." He kept tugging on my heart to the point where I would wake up in the middle of the night in tears because I knew I had chosen a human over Him. I became numb to my sin & my heart hardened...Nevertheless, in the midst of it all, He found me & called me outIf you're saved, and the Spirit lives within you, and your partner isn't-you might want to break that relationship off, so that it doesn't cause you to stumble. DO NOT BE UNEQUALLY YOKED!!!![II Corinthians 6:14-15] Focus on living wholeheartedly for Christ & obeying Him.

I've learned that a man without God, is a man I can live without. Don't get so fixated on relationships that you forget who your first love is. If you really trust God, then know that He will give you the desires of your heart, according to His will, & you must seek Him FIRST (Psalms 37:4; Matthew 6:33). I truly believe that God put the desire in my heart for a family one day, and all I can do is trust, obey, and follow Him..wherever He takes me...keep my eyes focused on Christ. Even if he doesn't bring that desire to pass, I will still trust Him with my life, because His thoughts and ways are better than mine (Isaiah 55:8). 

Kiss Dating Goodbye<3
Did you know that dating is not mentioned in the bible? Nowhere. I've dated for years. Some guys were really good people, awesome personalities,....they just weren't saved. What a chunk of life wasted. I've tasted & seen God's goodness, & now, I can't have it any other way. There are so many Christians who've done it God's way and are examples of a true union with God, so don't let the world tell you differently. Ask God to show you, He will! Read your bible && Learn to thrive in your single season! It is for these reasons [and a very real conviction from the Holy Spirit] that I will never "date" a man again. It's a "system" totally ungodly and praised, loved, & forced by the world. Christians are set apart, to look nothing like the world, but have a renewed mind like that of Christ's (Romans 12:2). I seek to court with God's best. A true courtship that honors God, even with the little things. I now have a standard that was never present before, and I know God is pleased with it. I cannot go back. A worldly relationship can offer you nothing but heartache, despair, and eternal damnation; masked as fun, exciting, love, and happiness.

It's my prayer that you spend that intimate time with God, and truly get to know & trust Him. He will blow your mind. Surrender, for real. Commit and trust the process...one day you will see it was all worth it.


February 24, 2016

So.. He Says He Wants To Marry You?

It can be the desire of some women to want to be MARRIED. Maybe it has rarely ever crossed your mind- but you're not totally against it. Maybe, you see sister so and so & her husband at church & wonder if that could ever be you...
Maybe you have this burning desire to be married and it just won't leave you alone. Or maybe, after a really bad relationship..you just aren't interested in marriage ever.
Whatever your story is, you may have come across a guy or two, who's stated, "I want to marry you [someday]." or my personal favorite, "Wait, til' I make you my wife." Hey! Homeboy may have even got on one knee and popped the question to you...but you're still single, (not married)

'Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him." Genesis 2:18 NLT

I think back to a time where the guy said, "I can't wait to hear you say I do." Years after these words were spoken, I found myself healing from the pain of that relationship, & unmarried. The idea of getting married was constantly entertained. All that sounds good right?! If you find yourself with a similar situation, ask yourself this: But-Did He really have true intentions on seeing through a marriage? Not just words, but actions?
 What if I said...
I want to lose 15lbs.
If I told you I wanted to lose 15lbs, but everyday I'm eating poorly, not working out, and just feeding my flesh whatever it wanted...You might say, "girl, you ain't trying to lose that weight!" But I would tell you, "Yes I am! You just watch me." I cut back on the ice-cream everyday...instead, now I just have it once or twice a week. I'm still not working out, and my diet choice is still poor. I've put it in the AIR that I want to lose this weight, but all my ACTIONS say otherwise. [Hey! did you know love is an ACTION word :)]

I want to be debt-free!
If I told you I want to be debt-free, but I'm constantly charging everything to credit cards, paying only the minimum payment, and every other weekend I'm at the mall shopping...sister, what would you think? Would you think I was serious about being debt-free? Would you think I'm taking the proper steps to set up my future to be debt-free? Would you think I'm committed to seeing through paying off all my debts??? NO! You wouldn't. You would think I'm full of it, and although I say I want to be debt free...its clearly the furthest thing from my mind. But hey! It sounds good right? There might be some truth to my declaration but it means nothing If my actions don't align with my words...
The same goes for that [ex]boyfriend of yours. He doesn't truly, wholeheartedly, want to marry you, if his mouth is saying yes & his actions show otherwise. It sounds good, but it could be an empty statement built upon fleshly feelings & Has the Lord, our God, commanded this man to take that step with you?.

"You're wrong! He's told me he wants to marry me, that God told him I'm the one & that it will be sooner than I think!"
If this is the case, why don't you have any peace about this man? He treats you any kind of way & doesn't truly value you as a daughter of Christ. Can he properly lead you? Or maybe, you two have been on & off for years...and he still hasn't gotten it together. He's still keeping you as an option. He may "love" you, as the world defines love...God is not a god of confusion or dysfunction. Everything about God is progressive. So while you sit & wait for him to grow up, you're losing time, and you are DISTRACTED from your Kingdom assignment. That's what the devil wants. Satan talks too, did you know that?  If He's not loving you like Christ loved the church which I blogged about here, you need to Let it go. Move on. Rest. And forgive him too! :)

"We are both working on ourselves apart, and we will revisit the idea of marriage in the future."
Let me ask you this: Is this man saved? Truly saved? You cannot wait for him to fall in love with Jesus in hopes that then you two will be on the same page. If He doesn't recognize your value and worth right now...itis time to leave him alone. Let him know that you've made the decision he refused to, & MOVE ON. The bible tells us to not be unequally yoked with nonbelievers (II Corinthians 6:14). You have to TRUST GOD that whoever He has for you is FOR YOU. And you can't trust someone that you do not know, so use this time and spend crazy time with Him!!! This man cannot lead you right now.

"None of this applies to me. I'm just getting into a dating relationship, he's a great guy, he's mentioned us getting married once or twice."
DIVORCE DATING!!! Dating is NOT BIBLICAL. If you two are not embarking on a true courtship (look it up, its different than dating) where boundaries are set up and this man is not producing good fruit of a potential husband who is led by God - seek God and ask Him if that relationship is pleasing in his sight. Feelings can change. At the end of a break-up, have you ever found yourself wondering, "How could I have ever felt so strongly about this person. How silly was I!"It's not too late to do it God's way while you're alive and reading this. Be Spirit-Led in all your decisions.

So don't get so caught up in the aroma of a "I want to marry you." I want to eat ice-cream everyday, but that doesn't mean I should. Everything you love is not good for you. And I can almost promise you, what you've experienced with little Johnny was not love...it was lust.

I can recall always getting this warm, fuzzy feeling when those very words were said to me. I really thought that This was it-MY ADAM! But the Lord had been telling me "No." Our relationship pushed me further from Christ. I ignored Him (you know how you think you know more than God and you're going to try to prove to Him that the person has changed & that this will work) I mean God tried EVERYTHING to warn me. If I can be a little transparent...I received a very random text message from a fellow believer who told me what was to come of our "relationship."..& living in sin, and I'm thinking (with tears starting to fall) "why God? This lady knows too much, I wasn't listening to you and I was rationalizing with my flesh but you just made it plain." I still chose to ignore this...but fast forward some weeks && eventually what I was told, what I had been feeling in my spirit...turned out to be true. Isn't our living God amazing?!?! [And I totally believe a man can change, however, only God can produce a true heart change, that will grow, endure, and last & He will let you know about the person]

You never feel more apart from God than when you're doing something He specifically told you not to. Peace just ups & leaves...& well now its just you, your emotions, and your feelings-And you KNOW that's not a good mix! Jus'saying. Lol. I'm a hot-emotional MESS without Christ. That's why we need Him each and every day. We need that quiet time so that HE may fill us up again. Are you willing to take ONE day, 24 hours, and just sit before the Lord? Have a date night with Him? Get to REALLY know him? && be honest. God works with HONESTY. When I got serious about my walk, One day in prayer, I told God "I don't desire you God. I want him, more than I want you. I don't care that this ride will lead me to hell, this feels good, I love him, and I just want to ride for as long as I can, and we can fix my heart later." As I said this aloud, tears begin to fall, rapidly. There's just something about be totally transparent & open with the Lord..& here's the kicker: HE ALREADY KNOWS YOUR HEART!!! So you may read this and think, "she's pathetic, crazy, etc." Consider this: Do you say the exact same thing (not with your mouth) but your actions? You go to church every Sunday, but your heart is still unchanged. You lift your hands to praise God, but you don't truly desire Him. You still want to hold onto YOUR STUFF. You refuse to totally surrender to God. You still want to curse, party, drink, and hop in the bed with whoever you choose. You say you love Him...but you are not obedient and your fruit is not good. You seek God to get whatever you want without wanting to truly, truly know who He is. Based on I John, that makes you a liar.

"If someone claims, 'I know God' but doesn't obey God's commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth" I John 2:4 (NLT)

"15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." Revelation 3:15-17 (NIV)

"But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!" Revelation 3:16 NLT 

Be careful not to be a "lukewarm Christian." God hates when we are lukewarm. If you love God, honor Him with your life, and not just your Sunday drive to church. Repent, and cut off the distractions.

It broke my spirit to see what point I had come to. I repented & I asked God to give me that zeal, that burning desire for Him. I asked him to show me my heart, and my own ways. I don't want to spend eternity in hell, where there is gnashing of teeth and torment (Matthew 13:42). I asked God to reveal Himself to me..........and He did. Thank you Jesus!!! I would caution you to not walk around telling everyone, "God knows my heart." Because he does. And all your private thoughts you think only you know-...Our Father knows them too. Be whole in Christ first.

So, do I desire to be married?! Yes. I want a husband who is crazy about intentionally living for God every single day. A man who actively hears from God and can properly lead me. A man should push you closer to Christ & not further. While this is a strong desire of mine, and it may be for you too, it cannot be your focus. It cannot be all you see. It cannot be what you're waiting on. It cannot be the push or excitement you need to start living. And don't settle for some average Joe either. You want God's best for your life. God would never send you a man who is not one of his sons. But you know who will? The enemy. So look out! THIS CONCERNS YOUR ETERNITY.

The only marriage standard I know is God's word-the bible. That of Christ and the church. What He said about marriage. That's what you want. Not some worldly idea of a union between two people. I imagine a marriage where God can convict each partner and create a true change in heart that is authentic, and will last. A daily battle to look more like Christ. Check out some books on godly marriages!

If you are currently in a courtship/engaged with God's best, it's important to pray for that man. Keep God at the head of the relationship. Focus on obeying God in everything. Let Him guide you, and hold dear to your standards.

If you're struggling to break a soul tie with a man who YOU KNOW ain't the one, save yourself the pain. You may be thinking, "he isn't the one now...but maybe in the future"- Noooo sis. We're still considering "what ifs." If its of God, He will work it out, in his timing. You just need to keep moving forward. God gave us free will, a choice. God wants to blow your mind. Let go of the distractions!! TRUST GOD. TRUST GOD. TRUST GOD. Get busy about your kingdom assignment! You want to make sure your purpose lines up with your one day husband because you two will become ONE!

I want you to know that God's plan for your life is far better than any thing you can dream of for yourself. Don't listen to the enemy's LIES and deception. The devil is after YOU. Make no mistake about this one. Run to the only one who can save you and fill those empty voids-Jesus.

So, He says he wants to marry you................................Did God command this?


January 27, 2016

Insane Relationships♥

For a moment, I want you to really think about all the relationships (past or present) that we (myself included) have put all this time and energy into. The relationships that are purposeless and have no real VALUE, yet we pour into them as if our very life depends on it. Have you ever heard of the word...INSANITY? It can be defined as extreme foolishness, irrationality; the most simple way to put it is:  INSANITY IS DOING THE EXACT SAME THING OVER & OVER...EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS. Insanity is most evident in...RELATIONSHIPS. Many of us run back to our past, what was comfortable & familiar, and we deal with the same things over and over and over...yet nothing changes. The relationship where he comes home late almost every night, you don't trust him at all & he doesn't trust you, where he sleeps around on you every now & then, you two break up & make up, he's an alcoholic, uses drugs, abuses you, uses you, manipulates you, steals from you...You might say, "We are going to work this out, we love each other, we belong together, I can't picture myself with anyone else." Pssh. Literally! It has become almost normal. How can a man truly, unconditionally love you...if He has NO [REAL] relationship with Jesus Christ. Yeah he may "go to church" but he has not been changed & his heart remains untouched (You can check out So..He Goes to Church?) You have to consider whether You're  in a relationship, or in bondage. You keep taking a "break" after break, trying to force something that maybe GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU IN. 

So things finally ended between you two...
I just want to encourage you, you are beautiful & precious in Jesus's sight! God has a purpose for YOUR life. I know you feel like you can't understand why things didn't work out with this person, or maybe why they left you, or why you feel like you kept getting hurt from the relationship over and over. May I stop you right here?-You have to take some responsibility. Did you let this happen? You already knew that there was no change in the person, from the first time around, or maybe after a significant event or argument. I believe as women, emotional beings, we praise the man for what he does right, and ignore the mega sized red flags. God has a purpose and a plan for your life. And its a hard, yet beautiful thing when you can finally let go of the things that were hindering you, holding you back. [And make no mistake, you could be a hindrance to him too, but your partner isn't reading this blog, you are] He is not going where God is trying to take you, he cannot come along for this ride. Picture the journey as a one-seat-only. But you've been trying to squeeze the two of you in this one seat...& its caused nothing but hurt and heartache. You have to realize that God, His will, His timing; is perfect, and if this person is suppose to be in your life, you need to trust God and let Him work it out but...it will be His timing! ....Did you got excited thinking, "Yayyy, there's still hope! smiley face!" [I've been there]

For right now, you may not be hearing from God. You're not audibly hearing God say, "No! Don't be with that person." While he's not "saying that" (or maybe He has) he's given you clear signs, and you have tuned him out, because you don't want to hear it, believe it, or accept it. He's not living for God, his prayer life doesn't exist, he has no fruit of the Spirit, he doesn't love you like Christ loved the church, he can't lead you, & most importantly, he doesn't have a true relationship with God. SO WHY ARE YOU STILL ENTERTAINING THE RELATIONSHIP? So many times we wait for God to make it clear, make it plain that we are not suppose to be in certain relationships but- how much clearer does he have to make it?! He gave us the bible, His word-that is clearly laid out. God also gave us mentors, blogs, ministers, preachers, conferences, books, vlogs, podcasts, YouTube videos..YOU CANNOT SAY YOU DID NOT KNOW BECAUSE THE INFORMATION WAS THERE- but you were blissfully ignorant toward the information.

What you have to do (And Jesus Can & Will Help You!) is LET GO, TRUST GOD, & MOVE ON. First of all, why are you even trying to pursue a relationship when you, yourself, are not where you're suppose to be in your walk with God? You never are going to be perfect, we understand that. But how long will you remain a babe in Christ? You've been trying to pass the same test(s) for the last 5 years! You still have an emotional meltdown at the drop of a pin. You're stagnant! You're not moving. At some point you need to come to the realization that you've been doing the same thing over and over and over...expecting different results. Insane Relationships! [And the same could be true with your relationship with God, you only giving Him a little of you, but you're expecting Him to do great works for you.] Why do you expect something to be different, in any relationship, when you have the same sinful you, the same sinful him, and you've put you two together, it's not going to work God's way, so you have to stop what you think you can do in your own ability. You need God. Get in your word, listen, look for the signs. Join a couple ministries at your church, start writing that book God placed in your heart! Seek God's kingdom FIRST.

You only have one life. Relationships are for a purpose, for marriage. Two people come together to accomplish a purpose, together. You can't just marry anybody. [I once heard ( ''A man who is not doing anything doesn't need help."] Powerful, right? If a man is not accomplishing God's will for his life, then he's not walking in his purpose. So why does he need a woman? You could very well serve only as a temporary fill, for temporary feelings, & he has not been commanded by our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ to take you down the aisle, I'm sorry. Don't waste time by dating like the world, don't be engulfed in feelings.

Now let's first be perfectly clear here: All this is not going to make sense to you if you do not have a foundation of Christ. If Christ is not the center of your life, if He is not living in your heart, if you have not accepted Him as Lord & Savior over your life- then you're not living this thing out. If you've got one foot in the world and one foot in Christ- THIS WILL NOT MAKE SENSE TO YOU. YOU WON'T GET IT.

And I get it-"God why we gotta stop having sex? Why I gotta do this or that! " It may be a hard area to overcome, but God can help you & there's nothing you can't do with Him. My carnal mind couldn't grasp the things of God. It couldn't understand. I thought people were crazy. Like what do you mean, not have sex, not sleep over his house, not move in together, Like we love each other! We gone be together! No! No! No! I'm sowing a seed on a dead foundation if you haven't come to the revelation that you have to be Holy as God is Holy. I'm talking to the wall if you can't understand that God's ways are the only ways that matter. I'm preaching to no one if you don't understand that God is your everything. He's your provider, He's holds your life in the palm of His hand. And if you would just stop thinking about this world and stop trying to accumulate earthly things, and stop trying to be somebody that God did not call you to be. God has a destination for you, eternity with Him, you must accept the call.

You may wonder why you have these voids in your heart. Or that boyfriend, or ex, of yours, why he can't stop doing what he's doing. Why he won't just settle down. It's because we have these voids in our hearts. And we try to soothe them with worldly things, things that are not of Christ. Only God can fill those voids. The beautiful thing is that when you are TRULY focused on Christ, you don't have the time, energy, or mental capacity to even be concerned about anyone else, even an ex. 

God has to come in and take everything in you that's not like Him and break it. It is not going to feel good! It would be like someone coming into your home, throwing out all your furniture, and you just gotta take it! Walls are being torn down, and carpets uprootedAnd you just have to endure the process, no matter how long it takes, because its YOUR home. It is the same thing with God. He comes to move in our hearts and He wants to take everything in us that's unlike Him and replace it with His heart, ways, and will. There are going to be days when you want to quit, give up, have suicidal thoughts; where you just don't feel good but you just have to trust that if you're being led by the Spirit and you've allowed Him to come live inside of you, then know that His plans are to prosper you. That He will not give up on you, and you don't give up on him. Refuse to listen to the enemy's lies that you can't do this!! Stop expecting it to feel good. The devil is going to come at you with everything he has because he wants to stop you! You have to walk this thing out. You have to be strong, you have to endure, and you have to put on the armor of Christ.

There are angels above watching you! They're like, "yooo what are you doing?" You getting knocked over because you lost your job, crying because you lost your money, your car died on you-NO! Do you know what Jesus went through? None of us suffered as He has! That is the revelation that you need to get. It's time for us to stop with these insane relationships. This could be a relationship with your boyfriend, your car, your job, your career, school-anything that you put above God has to go, it has to be reevaluated. Many of us are not excited about that. I wouldn't be excited if someone came to uproot me out of my home, it's not going to feel good, and if it did, why wouldn't everyone have already done it? Consider. Narrow is the way. 

I don't know your story, but I know it's not too late, why you are yet still breathing. Decide in this very moment that you won't be like the dog running back to its vomit. And don't let the enemy or persons from your past remind you of what & how you use to be. You cut those ties immediately and seek God's heart, approval, and guidance. Even if you were set free last night, last month, and hour ago-whatever! It is time you deny your self (flesh), pick up your cross, keep moving forward, and follow Him.


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